Super Senseless Questions To Ponder

Everyone gets forwards from their friends. Some of them are amusing, some are so stupid you want to block your friend from ever sending you another e-mail. Well, regardless if you like forwards or hate them, here is an amusing one, that I thought would tickle your fancy.

NB. I can not find an author to attribute this to but my super cool cousin, Dave, sent this to me on fine day back in 2000. Dave is up there on my list of 5 funniest/coolest people I know.

1.a. Do you believe that Elvis is living in Argentina with Hitler, Tupac, and Biggie?

1.b. And if so do they contact you?

2.a. For the girls of the group. if you could would you have more boobs?(not like larger but like have more as in 3 or 5)*odd numbers only

2.b. If yes where would you position these buggers?

3.a. If you could combine any two animals and name it after yourself, which two would would you choose?

3.b. How would you choose to combine them genetics or old fashion drunken sex?

4.a. Can you go to jail for killing imaginary people?

4.b. Can you go to jail if your imaginary friend kills people?

5.a. Of all the horror movie characters who do you think would make the best roommate?

5.b. Of all the horror movie characters who do you think would make the best lover?

6. Which would you rather have webbed fingers or webbed arms? (like a flying squirrel)

7.a. If you baked blackbirds in a pie would they really fly out like in the stories?

7.b. How about if you put kittens in the pie?

8. If you had to remove one bone from your body which would it be?

9.a. Which is your favorite hair?

9.b. Whats your favorite hairs name?

10.a. Do you name your toes and treat them like children?

10.b. Are your toes good children or do you have to punish them?

11. Would you rather be a hermit or a hermit crab?

12.a. If you had to ride a dinosaur to work which kind would you ride?

12.b. What kind of work places would allow you to park your dinosaur outside them?

13. Who would win in a fight an acorn squash or a pumpkin?

14. If Fidel Castro was a fruit, which kind would he be?

26. Well, isn’t this nice?

16.a. If you could combine yourself with another animal, which would it be?

16.b. How would you get it to have sex with you?

17. If Smurfs had sex with Snorks, what would you call them?

18. Ever wonder if Jesus would be pissed if ya called him "The Big JC?"

19. What does the "H" stand for in "Jesus H Christ?"

20. What does the "R" stand for in "Toys R Us?"

21. When will public masturbation become acceptable?

22. Would you vote for me?

23. What’s the last thing you used electrical tape for?

24. What’s your drug of choice: heroin, crack, or clowns?

25. What’s your favorite Kool Aid flavor?

26. How many Twinkies can your fit in your mouth?

27. Star Wars, ehhh??

34. Chewie or Jabba: who would you rather screw?

29. Why do they hand out peanuts on planes and not salvation?

30. Are ya a fan of the squeegee?

31. What would you rather fight: a bear or Ross Perot on PCP?

32. Who is more likely to eat their children: an animal or Kathy Lee Gifford?

33.a. What will you choose for names of your children?

33.b. Do you want them to get beat up?

34. Who is the most attractive of the Jackson 5?

35. Did video really kill the radio star?

36. Name 4 uses for a dead puppy?

37. Name 5 uses for a dead puppet?

38. :)

39. Can’t sleep. Clowns will eat me?

40. Would you rather own a midget, a jawa, or an ewok?

41. Would you rather be 2 feet tall or 7 feet tall?

42. How much can you bench?

43. Would you like to buy a wicker basket?

44.a. How many times have you lied in your life?

44.b. List all of them here?

45. What would you rather have sex in Jello, ice cream, or vegetable oil?

46. If you were to kill and eat one of your friends, who would it be?

47. Your mom?

48. Would the world be as fun without ear lobes?

49. Is it all about the "he says, she says" bullshit?

50. What would you do with a 55 gallon drum of lime Jello?