Dynamite Dan's Traditional Aussie Christmas fruitcake
Ingredients:
- 1 gallon whiskey - 1 cup water - 1 cup sugar - 4 large eggs - 2 cup dried fruit - 1 teaspoon baking soda - 1 teaspoon salt - 1 cup brown sugar - lemon juice - nuts
Instructions:
- Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality. Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat.
- Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still okay.
- Cry another cup. Turn off the mixer. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner.
- If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
- Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares. Check the whiskey. Now sift lemon juice and strain your nuts.
- Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
- Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don' t forget to beat off the turner.
- Throw the bowl out the window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed.
- Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?
